Egg Nomination

Pressure is mounting. The latest lockdown craze for NHS donations involves nominated people filming themselves swallowing a raw egg, a spoonful of sugar and a large dram. The short video clips are then uploaded onto social media with more nominees being presented with the challenge.
On the island the challenge is spreading like wildfire, appealing to the hardy farmers, fishermen and distillery workers. Even the youngsters are participating, with apple juice instead of whisky. I take my hat off to them. Each evening there are more and more videos.
The Handsome Farmer completed his challenge with ease. His egg slipped down quickly and easily. He loves runny eggs, and Bruichladdich whisky. His son struggled terribly, causing much hilarity. He made the grave mistake of opting for a ‘macho’ duck egg. Duck eggs are particularly strong in flavour, with a much larger yolk. This particular duck egg just refused to go down, and, if like me you have an aversion to the very thought of raw egg, it makes for painful viewing.
Some of the clips are just too excruciating to watch. ‘Hardy people’ are reduced to quivering wrecks as they try so very hard to ‘stomach’ a gloopy raw egg.
There are also the ‘confident’ ones. The ones who actually like raw eggs. They have done this before. They delight in causing stomach churning entertainment. These contestants go for the whole egg. Mouths open wide, and in it goes, shell and all, as they wickedly crunch their way through the challenge, a cheesy grin across their face. They relish the challenge, knowing viewers, like me, will be suffering, just watching the proceedings.
I had until now sat comfortable, safe in the knowledge that there was no threat. The Happy Farmer does not ‘do’ social media. He has no Facebook account to his name. However, this week that safety net has been whipped away. Nominations have come flooding in. His friends have ‘ways and means’, and the lack of a Facebook account has not got in the way of a nomination. The Singing Shepherd, Archie Bread and our lovely best man all seem to think that the Happy Farmer would make an excellent contestant.
Pressure is mounting. The Happy Farmer however struggles to eat any kind of runny egg, be it poached, or fried, let alone raw. His eggs must be turned several times in that frying pan until they are completely hard. The very thought of munching through a whole, raw, egg causes much toe curling, stomach churning anxiety. To make matters worse, it would appear even the promise of a hearty dram to wash away the ‘pain’ of the egg is not all it seems. Our best man in his video clip, managed the egg, tried the sugar, but when it got to downing a good dram of Laphroaig, he had to make a sharp exit, as ‘everything ‘threatened to make a ‘come back’. It would appear his Laphroaig whisky was certainly giving him a very ‘peaty slap in the face’.
Today then, those eggs, the ones that were lying comfortably in the basket at the window of the farmhouse, have all chosen this moment to go into hiding. I honestly had nothing to do with it and thank goodness we do not have any breakfast guests just now as there is not an egg to be found. All gone.
The Happy Farmer is now in the ‘eggs-tra’ special position today of the possibility of an Easter egg hunt at Persabus in May, if he is indeed to participate in this challenge. Of course, the reward of such a challenge is the nominations that will follow.
A hearty donation has already been made to the NHS on his behalf. Those teams of nurses, doctors and allied health professionals do so much good work, daily, all year round. In these difficult times we cannot have enough gratitude for all that they are doing across the country to save and protect lives.
Stay safe and take care until our island is once again open for visitors. In the meantime, this week do take the opportunity to visit our online virtual Festival of Music and Malt on Facebook, as the committee, the distilleries and community come together digitally to provide entertainment to help get you through these difficult times.
Until next time….

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