Crabbit Tourists

Lockdown did not stop our latest visitors in their mission to enjoy a holiday sampling ‘The Persabus Experience’. Despite the government restrictions tourists arrived at our door looking for suitable accommodation for their brief holiday on the farm.
At Persabus we remain closed for bookings just now, apart from key workers. We will not be accepting new bookings for this season until the Government restrictions have been lifted. Caledonian MacBrayne Ferries are only operating an essential lifeline service. Tourists and visitors are strictly prohibited from travelling on the ferries just now. The Islay whisky Festival is only happening in a virtual world this year and with the Distillery shops closed, Festival Bottles of whisky can only be purchased online.
However, our latest holiday makers managed to evade all lockdown measures. They did not come by ferry. This family travelled over to Persabus from another part of the island.
I was horrified, when the Happy Farmer announced that the ‘holiday makers from hell’ had arrived, referring to our new guests as one ‘Crabbit Family’. I have never known the Happy Farmer to give guests a nickname in the past, but I must admit at this point, that the nickname given was very apt as it turns out. This family elevated the words ‘ungrateful and rude’ to a whole new level. No amount of discussion, compromise or good will on our part could temper their stubborn attitude.
For starters, Mrs Crabbit and her two children arrived at Persabus at a most inappropriate time. A time when the whole world has come near enough to a standstill to try and stop the spread of Covid-19. A time when our lovely island has had to ‘close its doors’ to protect our vulnerable community and potential visitors from this dangerous virus.
Mrs Crabbit however had other ideas. She evaded all government advice and proved to be the most awkward guest we have dealt with at Persabus. Unhappy at every turn, I first met her, and her children stood outside the pottery in the sunshine. She was incredibly disgruntled that the pottery appeared to be closed. She was not for moving on, or out of the way, and no amount of gentle persuasion could ease her irritable mood, even with the beautiful views and sunshine. Nothing seemed to please her. I think because she had managed to evade lockdown restrictions, she was expecting the red-carpet treatment. I am sure I heard her mutter under her breath that for her next visit she may well bring the helicopter to see if that would make a difference.
She made it quite clear that she was planning on staying at Persabus for the foreseeable future, and with her here onsite already, we had quite a tricky situation on our hands. At this rate she would be heading for an appearance on the Islay Community Noticeboard on Facebook. Whilst the Happy Farmer got to work making contingency plans Mrs Crabbit disappeared off and took her family for a walk about the farm.
After much deliberation and appreciating she had endured a long journey to make it to Persabus, albeit from another part of Islay, the Happy Farmer took the decision that he would allow her to ‘camp’ in the field overnight. Please if you are reading this do note that we have taken the decision to keep our campsite closed at Persabus for the whole of this season and will not be open for camping for the foreseeable future.
Mrs Crabbit was simply not happy with the camping offer. She had no tent and was certainly not pleased with the Happy Farmer’s suggestion that she share the field with a flock of Hebridean sheep. Under the difficult circumstances she flatly refused to accept this exceedingly generous offer. No discussion, she took to her heels and stormed out of the field, children in tow. Not wanting to see her without accommodation for the night, the Happy Farmer did at this point try and chase after her and see if a compromise could be made, kindly offering her alternative camping arrangements. At Persabus it is important that our guests are happy and enjoy their Islay holiday. Mrs Crabbit had made up her mind though. She was not going to accept any camping offer.
That crabbit lady had other ideas and with her truly ‘crabbit’ nature she was not going to let the Happy Farmer dictate how she spent her holiday. It became clearly apparent that she had her heart set firmly on staying in Persabus Millhouse on a bed and breakfast basis. She was told that this was simply not an option at this time. We thought she had taken to the hills, but later in the evening that cheeky sheep, horns poised, two lambs at foot, was caught ramming and head butting the back door of Persabus Millhouse.
Thank goodness for toughened glass.
Until next time…